Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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