You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
They are going to name an STD after you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
