my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
