New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
