he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
