Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
