She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize