eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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