let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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