Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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