Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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