I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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