I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dignity is for republicans.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
