1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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