Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There's always time for handjobs
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
