She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.