do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
