Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
