hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am available for nakedness
I'm like, not good at living.