He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
