I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
