so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
