Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
