Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Me too!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
