So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
