i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
