I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
