So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
