Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
