You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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