"it" just moved
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize