Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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