Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
In America we eat man semen.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
