Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
