Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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