I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
