i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
