Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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