there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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