did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
