the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Are we still banned from the library?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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