If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
