this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
