Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
