im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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