oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
