The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
