Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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