Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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