Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
