Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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