Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
