I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How's work?
Spinning.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
