she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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