It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
