shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
