no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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