she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
