Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
