It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
