somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Your dad touched me again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
