This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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