I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
