why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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